When it comes to the world of blogging, how much is too much information? I have often debated blogging about certain topics, but then dismissed the idea because of my employer, or because the world wide web is so public... and somethings are meant to be private. Or are they?
Most of you already know that I struggle with a mental heath disorder, but I never mention it on my blog. And as a result, there is a lack of communication. My community of family and friends don't
really know what is going on with Layne and I. I follow some bloggers who share their health issues, and I'm definitely jealous of the freedom they have. Being open with what is happening displays a level of confidence, sharing with loved ones allows them to be supportive. I guess I finally reached the point where I'm not afraid to throw it out there.
Yesterday on NPR, I was listening to the debate on "Don't ask, Don't tell," in the military. How do homosexuals live like this? They are who they are, and by omitting it, they leave out a slice of themselves. I don't want to love 90% of someone. I want to accept them completely, for who they are, the good, bad, and ugly. (Not that homosexuals are bad and ugly. That wasn't what I was saying.)
So I've decided that is it past time to purge myself and "come out the closet" to my family and friends about my mental health disorder. Most of you know, some of you don't, some know but we don't talk about it... so here it is. Just like an AA meeting...
Hi everyone! My name is Mitzi, and I'm bipolar. (Acknowledging it is half the battle. It's easy to forget something is wrong when the medicine is working and you feel so good.) I was diagnosed right after I graduated from college in June 2006, and have spent the last 3.5 years learning to deal with the disorder and cope with it. After time, I've been diagnosed as type II bipolar with depression tendencies, and I'm a rapid cycler.
What does this mean? Well, I suffer from a mood disorder that is characterized by an abnormally elevated mood called hypomania. It's a milder version than the mania that someone who is type I would suffer. I have a tendency to suffer more with depressive episodes, and as a rapid cycler, when my medication is not working, I rapidly alternate between the highs and the lows (hence the term cycling).
I went to the doctor two weeks ago because Layne and I had noticed some severe hypomanic traits. We changed my medications to try to get everything in control, and I went back to the doctor this week. Layne came with me for the first time, and it was really the right thing. He asked a lot of basic, practical questions, and it was good for me to be comforted and reassured by a medical professional. The doctor said that dealing with this disorder takes a combination of patience and hope. It can be hard to hold on to those two things when you're fighting off the lows, but I have an amazing community of family and friends that are my lifeline and my support. Now we're in the waiting phase- it'll take a few weeks for my new prescription combination to take affect. Layne and I are tracking my sleep and my moods, and paying attention to the details we need too.
Layne has been amazing. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.
I feels good to have been able to share such a major part of our lives with the blog. This is who I am. This is what our life entails. When we don't share these details with our family and friends, it almost always ends badly, so I highly recommend everyone comes out the closet- it's a huge relief off the chest.
Happy Anniversary Christine and Chad! Layne and I are so blessed to have your marriage as an example in our lives. Congratulations on another year of wedded bliss, and here's to many more!
Layne and I were so excited to be there to celebrate your birthday this month during Mardi Gras. Thank you Abby and Doody for having us all over to celebrate. We had a great time just "being" with everyone.
As a kid Greg, you were one of a kind. You were charasmatic then, and you have continued to be one of the most charasmatic people that I know. Look at the way your foot is loving on Abby. You still have such a sweet spot in your heart- you're a lover, a cuddler, an open bro-mancer.
You stood out as a kid when we traveled as kids, and were asked to particiapate in events on stage. It happened all the time. It still happens now... except you're on national TV and the front page of the paper.
Over the past few years, you have matured so much. Your work hard, play hard mentality is a committment you have excelled at, and all of us are so proud that you will graduate as the Orkus with the highest GPA. Catherine is wonderful, and she brings out the good in you. I love seeing you so happy, and I love that you found someone that is such a good match for you.
You continue to bring your friends into our lives, and I am continuously amazed by the quality of these young men. The work hard, play hard right along with you, and value the same things. It's been impressive. When Layne and I come home, we enjoy spending time with them as well.
I am so thankful to have you as my little brother Greg. I love our phone conversations, and I love our time together. You're a great brother, but you're an even better friend. I've learned so much from you through the years, and I'm always inspired to be more like you. People gravitate towards you- you have a gift, and I can't wait to see how you put it to use in the future.
Life has good things in store for you, and Layne and I are thrilled to be your friends along the ride. After four tests this week, I hope you have a blast tonight. I love you!
And there is no saying Happy Birthday to Greg without saying Happy Birthday to Anne, Abby's BFF since they were 3 and our sista from another mother. We wish we could have been with you to celebrate this week!
I could go on for days about my sister Abby. You all know her, and I have no doubt that in some way she has touched your heart- because that is who Abby is. She is always there with a note, a quote offering support and encouragement, saying something silly to make you smile. Abby is a wonderful friend. She will always put you first, and will never hesitate to go the extra mile to make you happy. Just for today, because it is your birthday, I will give you the title of "Daddy's Favorite." See- I know how to share.
Stephen, Gregory, and I are so lucky to have you as our sister. We love to spend time with you, and hang out with you. Your friends are our friends... just look to your husband for example. Thank you for giving me Annie, Lo, Megan, and the other amazing women in your life who are now apart of mine. I love that we can share those relationships, and I love that we share so much in common. I'm glad LSU was everything you wanted it to be, and that you stayed for all four years to truly live the collegiate experience. I couldn't have been prouder of you on your graduation day.
So many times I reflect on how proud I am of you- how special and amazing you are. And then I think I'm lucky, because I know that while I admire so much about you, I know it goes both ways. You may have been my little sister, and then my sorority sister... you will always be my sister, but more importantly you're my friend- one of my best friends, and not everyone can say that. I love how close you are to my friends. I love that you treat my husband like he is your brother and has been around for decades. You never forget to make the little things special.
Can I believe that you are 23 years old today? No. I remember sharing our room with twin beds. I forget about the bickering, or how much my mess drove you crazy. I remember whispering in the dark as mom yelled at us to fall asleep. I remember the dances you were constantly making up. I still think you could have been a Carmelette. I remember Canon D, on repeat, over and over. 
